I think to myself I am an adopted child

A first hand account from a survivor of incest who is a client of WCCC.

When I was 8 years old my father began to treat me in a way that is not right for a father to do to his daughter. He gave me money $10 to $20 and told me not to tell anyone, and most of the time I was scared and think to myself what I would do to overcome this and what will happen if someone knew.

All these things that happen to me were all done at our own house, and I think to myself maybe I am an adopted child of the family. Eventually my mother left the country and this is the saddest time in my life.  I knew that my mother left me but she didn’t even know what is happening to me. On the day she left I drew a picture of an aero-plane when it departed at the airport.

I moved to stay with my older sister but my father still continued the same thing to me. Most of the time when my father came to pick me up from my sister’s house I was very unhappy when seeing him, and sometimes my sister would get mad at me and ask why I didn’t want to go with my dad, but she did not know what was happening, but because of her trust in him that he is our father, she told me to go. It was very hard for me, but at that time I didn’t have the courage to tell her.

Now I am 14 and one day I was lying on my bed in my bedroom and I saw a book on the table in my room and its says, “Hold on to your belief”. I grab the book and read it and its talking about being obedient and being a virgin. This has encouraged me to speak out and talk about what is happening to me.

On the same week, I went to church on Sunday and I knew for sure I will go and ask our Bishop for time to talk to him about what I’ve been going through and finally I fulfill my dream. I explained everything to him.

So the Bishop went to the police and explained it to them and the police came to my sister’s house and take me, they questioned me and recorded everything. After that they told me they will take me to WCCC’s Safe House which is the best and safe place they think I should go to while they do their work.

While I’m staying at the Safe House I feel safe and it helps me a lot trying to get rid of the problems that I face and other things in my life. So I encourage all women that they struggle with many problems in their life or experience the same problem I am going through to speak up and tell someone that you know for sure that she or he will help you, and I believe it give us an important message to always be careful with ourselves of what is happening in our life!

 

This is a poem written by the client:

 

HOME

Home is where you live with Family

Brothers are drunk, daddy is smoke

This time I don’t know what to do

I felt like I’m not part of the Family.

 

Home is like we are in hell

Cause most of the time,

They are fighting and swearing

So, I wonder why this happen in life.

 

Sometimes I talk to myself,

Why moms leave me without staying with her?

But I thought that mom is the one that will

Stay with us at Home to grow love.

 

At home there’s no time to talk with family,

Cause they just leave me without saying anything.

I sometimes cry and cry

Cause there’s no friends to have, talked or even

Somebody to share

Love

 

Women at work places: speak up and break the silence!

A first hand case study from a client of WCCC

 

I have been working at my job since June 2010. I just broke up with my boyfriend at the time when a guy from my work asked if he could be my boyfriend and I accepted. After about two weeks I told him that we’re finished – I didn’t like his behavior. From then on he used to come to my office and say things to me like why did I finish with him but he never disrespect me in any way.

On the last day of December, he came into my office doing the same thing complaining and asking if we could go back on being boyfriend girlfriend again. All of a sudden another man from our work walked in and grabbed me from the front and told my ex-boyfriend to kiss me. I was shaking my head around because I didn’t want to.   But he was holding my face in his hands and kissing my lips, sticking his tongue in my mouth. After that they went out the door laughing. I could hear them saying to their co-worker outside, “the offender just kissed the victim, she deserved it because she was playing hard to get”.

In the beginning of this year, my ex boyfriend grabbed my buttock one day as I was walking outside my office. At this time, I heard rumors that he is talking about me having an affair with another men, saying that I am not a virgin and one day he say it straight to my face. One day I walked inside one of the rooms at work and as I walk in I can hear my name came up in my ex-boyfriend’s conversation and the men burst out laughing. I was so angry. I walked up to him kicking his feet saying, what did you say about me? He didn’t say anything, they just kept on laughing. So I kicked him again. Then he kicked me three times on the chest. It hurt so much because he was wearing his safety boots. I went to the doctor to make a report. I took it to the police and made a complaint about the two men, the man who held me and my ex boyfriend who kissed me, grabbed my buttock, gossiped about me and kicked me on the chest.

I’ll never forget this incident because this is the first time I have ever experience something like this even outside of work.   I haven’t felt like this ever in my life before. That day I felt so afraid that I can’t sleep at night for a few weeks, I felt dirty and angry and when they were laughing at me I felt used  ‘little and without dignity, I also felt frustrated thinking that I can’t do anything about it, that I am powerless in this situation.

I came straight to the director of WCCC because that’s who I was advised to go to, and after talking to her a counselor was appointed to me while the director was writing a letter to my boss at work telling him:

That I am a client of the WCCC and informing him of my right to have a workplace that is safe and free of sexual harassment.

The counselor then documented my story, called the Ministry of Police Domestic Violence Unit to clarify some information and then we went into a counseling session. By the time we were finished the letter was ready and the centre delivered it to my work.

One of the reasons why I am so grateful to the centre, I didn’t know anything about my complaint if it wasn’t for the centre. After I made my complaint I went with my parent, my counselor and the male advocate of the centre to court, we met up with the prosecutor and he told us that he dropped the case of one of the men because there is not enough evidence and the other man will only be charged on one count. Luckily, the two staff of the centre were there to level with him. My counselor took me to the DVU unit again today to talk about my case and I am still unsatisfied but at the same time I am happy because the centre is there to help me, support me and make me feel good about myself, that I haven’t done anything wrong, and am empowered about this kind of situation. We are still working on my case.

I feel very lucky that I came to the centre, the way they talk to the police it made me feel courageous, I feel good about myself, have high self-esteem, that I am supported, I advice you women out there especially women at work places to speak up and break the silence, that’s the purpose of my taking this case to court. I don’t want to go through this again, and I don’t want it to happen to anyone at my work place or any other organization.    I am very grateful that I came to the centre and it was true that they help me a great deal. They did a great deal more than what I expected.

 

Is this fair?

A first hand account from a worker at WCCC.

I took care of a survivor of domestic violence and her 7 children as part of my work at the WCCC.

This case reached court and it has been delayed 7 times. Almost every hearing has had a new judge, and with that comes a new way of dealing with domestic violence cases.

I have seen first hand the problems that the client is facing  due to the ongoing delays of court. The court said that she must stay with WCCC in the safe house until her case is resolved. This means that she and her children are living in a house that is not their home. The children have been transferred to a different school, which is very stressful for them.

Currently the client is pregnant and I can see that the stress of the situation is taking a toll on her. She feels very responsible for what is happening – She thought she couldn’t fulfill her responsibilities as a mother to her children and also her tasks at home because she is still doing daily jobs to pay for her loan that she did to buy a washing machine.

With each delay in the court case, the husband is free to continue his life as he chooses.

She is not the one who has done the crime and yet she is living a life where some of her rights have been taken away. Is this fair?